Sweet As Tees › Blog › Funny New Zealand Sayings That'll Have You in Stitches
By The Sweet As Crew · — Sweet As Tees Blog
Kiwis have a way with words. From brutal honesty dressed up in slang to accidental comedy that only works in New Zealand English β here are the sayings that make us laugh every time.
There's a particular kind of Kiwi humour that operates almost entirely through understatement. Something goes catastrophically wrong and the response is "yeah, bit of a situation." A friend eats the most revolting thing imaginable and the review is "yeah nah, not ideal." We don't do drama. We do dry, and we do it well.
Here are the best, funniest, and most uniquely New Zealand sayings that make us who we are β and confuse absolutely everyone else.
These two deserve their own section because they are genuine linguistic achievements. Both are technically contradictions. Both make perfect sense to any New Zealander.
"Yeah nah" = No. With a polite softening layer. "Wanna come to the gym?" β "Yeah nah, I'm sweet." Translation: absolutely not.
"Nah yeah" = Yes. Surprisingly. "Did you enjoy the concert?" β "Nah yeah, it was actually mean as." Translation: it was great.
The rules are simple: yeah first = no. Nah first = yes. Foreigners find this baffling. Kiwis don't understand why anyone finds it baffling.
She'll be right is not just a saying. It's a worldview. A belief system. A rejection of anxiety in favour of the deeply held conviction that whatever's gone wrong will, in the fullness of time, sort itself out.
The roof is leaking? She'll be right. The car's making a strange noise? She'll be right. You're about to do something genuinely inadvisable? She'll be right. This phrase has probably saved more Kiwis from excessive stress than any amount of therapy, and probably caused more near-misses than anyone wants to count.
Not to be confused with the noun. When a Kiwi says "choice!" as an exclamation, they mean something is fantastic, excellent, perfect. "Just found a park right out front." β "Choice!" This word carries genuine enthusiasm and should not be underestimated.
Sweet as is the Swiss Army knife of NZ slang. It means: great, no problem, sounds good, I'm happy with that, understood, and about fifteen other things depending on context and delivery. And yes, we named our brand after it. Because it's sweet as. See our NZ slang dictionary for the full rundown.
Beyond individual words, Kiwis have developed an entire genre of practical, deadpan commentary:
New Zealanders have a specific and beautiful way of dealing with genuine disaster β the immediate, reflexive minimisation. Stub your toe and bleed profusely: "just a scratch." Get very sick: "a bit crook." Break your arm at rugby: "she'll be right, I'll tape it." The national instinct to downplay suffering is part of our character and it is both admirable and genuinely dangerous in a medical context.
What makes Kiwi sayings funny isn't just the words β it's the delivery. Everything is said with a completely straight face. The most absurd statement comes out deadpan. Nobody laughs at their own joke. The funniest Kiwis often look slightly annoyed while saying the most hilarious things. It's a whole genre of comedy that requires no effort and lands perfectly every time.
Wear the culture on your chest β browse the Sweet As Tees slang tees and find one that fits your particular brand of Kiwi humour. Yeah nah, you'll love them. π₯
π₯ Wear the Saying
Some phrases are too good to keep to yourself. Our Living the Dreamβ¦ Barely tee and Rattle Ya Dags tee wear the best ones for you. Browse all Kiwi tees β
Tags: NZ slang, funny, Kiwi sayings, New Zealand humor